The Cure for Boredom

“The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5 ESV

Howe Caverns in Cobleskill, New York, is world famous. At least, that’s what the sign claims. The 1973 film, Tom Sawyer, was filmed in those caverns, and so, perhaps that is a valid assertion. Having grown-up nearby, I have, on many happy occasions, gone down into the cave. In fact, I have descended into that cold, wet, dark grotto so many times, that it has become a trifle bit boring. The rock formations, with their hidden crevices and the underground lake, are so familiar to me that they have lost their punch. The “awe” factor is gone, buried in the grave of the familiar. I still take my family “down” when we visit, but for me, the ascent back to the surface is the best part of the tour.

The same phenomenon happens in life. The second we stop being curious boredom arrives at our doorstep. The old broken-record syndrome sets in and life becomes laborious. We stop listening and wander off into a more interesting mental pursuit. Stated in an earthier fashion, we become bored when we think we “know it all,” and have “seen it all.” This deadening experience can also happen in our relationships. People become boring to us when we see them as a book that we have read a thousand times. We yawn and smile politely wishing we were somewhere else. It is possible that the problem lies, not in our loved ones or friends, but in our effort to remain a student of their lives. Perchance, we have stopped digging, after all, I’ve been down that cave before. We think, “What's taking that waitress so long, we've run out of things to talk about.”

There’s an old Chinese proverb that states, “we never sit before the same river twice.” Life is constantly changing and so are people. Those who inhabit our world are growing and developing daily, as we are, and it is easy to miss both. We stop reading the lives of the those closest to us, and thus, they become boring to us. We fail to appreciate who they are becoming and cling to the ‘old’ version of them. To keep relationships fresh and growing we must develop a different mindset.

Long term relationships, if we are to keep them lively, demand that we carve out a daily path of exploring those whom God has brought across to our path in life. The writer of Proverbs states, “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.” (Proverbs 18:4) In other words, stop skimming off the surface. In conversation, do more listening than talking and listen for the words that aren't being said. Care enough to discover how others think and feel. Ask questions until they accuse you of being Sherlock Holmes. Think of each day with your mate as a first date. Imagine each interaction with others as if it were the first time you've met them. Also, continue to develop yourself as a human being. Turn off the screens and read a book, challenge yourself with a new hobby, and never stop thinking deeply about life. The problem with boredom might not be others.